As I fell into the spiral of buying hentai figures, I came across Tentaclearmada.com, a lovely site with thorough reviews of bishojou waifus. There, I found an ivory-skinned, blonde-tressed, and scrumptiously thick goddess named Bertille Althusser. She hails from the Walkure Romanze franchise, yet another branch of stories I haven’t explored. Tier, the blogger on Tentacle Armada, seemed ambivalent on the figure’s physique, as the original Bertille must have been smaller. But with no frame of reference to ruin, I accepted her as she was, plump body and all.

And then, I discovered there was a tan version of Bertille Althusser. I had to have her.

Based on the one episode of Walkure Romanze I’ve seen, characters attend a school for competitive jousting and get their clothes torn off in the process. This figure design recognizes the futility of clothing and does away with it altogether, leaving behind greaves, gauntlets, and a string bikini. The armor is surprisingly ornate, painted with an attention to detail I rarely find in a figure.

The bikini, which features flower patterns you might find on a kimono, is little more than cheap, flimsy plastic that deserves to be discarded entirely–and that’s exactly how I display her.

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not a breast man. I am a fan of breasts, but a rotund posterior is definitely what I look for in anime figures. Bertille happens to have the best of both worlds. Her chest is impressive but not gargantuan, and her buttocks is nothing short of divine. With chest pushed forward and left hip jutting out, we can see the curvature of her back and how it serves to accentuate her waist. I used to be a fine arts student, and let me tell you, there’s some lovely, exaggerated physics at work here.

The most eye-catching feature is probably the skin color. Brown/tan figures are rare enough, and that exoticism is what pulled me in here, except Bertille isn’t tan at all. She’s orange, like Starfire from Teen Titans orange, which is fine because who doesn’t love Starfire? I find the the contrast of blonde hair against tan skin very sexy; it’s likely a sentiment I have from playing Ganguro Girl years ago, that old game on Newgrounds.com that I shouldn’t have touched as a youth.

Manufacturer Daiki Kougyou makes a lot of hentai figures. I would count this Bertille Althusser among their sexiest. She’s definitely Top 2 among my cast-off figures, right next to Rocket Boy’s heavy-hitting Slingshot Babe. Bertille’s the only figure I own that looks better without clothing. I proudly display her nudity atop my Ikea cabinet.

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