This one’s “the big oof,” ladies and gents. I’m here to review Dai Kasshoku Jidai Philena Waal … or Philena for short. If you’d like to know what any of that means… I got nothing for you…but damn is she HAWT.

For many figure collectors, this 1/7 Original Character scale by Amakuni is a holy grail. I know I wanted her the moment I laid eyes on her, not just for depraved reasons but because she screamed high quality, artistically so. What’s funny about this figure is that she was manufactured by the same company as Nitocris Third Ascension. If you haven’t read that review, here’s your chance! But seriously, I had little positives for Amakuni who subsequently did a way better job on Philena.

Philena is gorgeous. She has silky tanned skin, white hair, and a scantily clad black and gold Chinese style outfit. Although she isn’t sporting real tights, the paint job on her sheers is close enough to the real thing except for the texture of running your hands over nylon. Everything on this figure is sculpted and airbrushed to perfection. From her buns (steamed of course) to her toes, there are very few, if any, flaws.

She’s also a cast-off! Ultra plus desu. Sorry lads n’ lasses, no coochie pictures. Wah wah… Philena’s cast-off options are the dress only. The pantsu stays on. Luckily, if you appreciate cute, small boobs (as they should be appreciated) then she’s the girl for you. And when I say cute and small… I mean cute and small ADULT lady bewbs. Don’t make me call the FBI. Philena is a demon…cat? Thing? So that innocent look is all part of her plan to suck your soul out the tip of your dick…. or nips for you ladies out there. So, repeat after me: no coochie, only boobs. Instead, you’ll be treated to a very high class camel toe and thong arrangement which is great with or without the dress on. The real plus side to her cast-off feature is the sculpt and skin. It’s some of the best I’ve seen on a figure. I know us degenerates out there can appreciate some fine craftsmanship outside of titties and ass.

So let us clink our glasses and pay tribute to a very well made anime waifu because there’s literally nothing wrong with her. The only issue I see is if Philena’s simply not your type of gal. As a last bit of caution before you’re off to buy your new lady friend, her aftermarket price has nearly tripled since release. So prepare poor wallet-kun for your spending habits.