Since I’m an Eva nut, I need to find ways of sneaking in my obsession from time to time. Goatius is a gracious friend and doesn’t mind breaking from the anime tiddy norm to spam our readers with some good ol’ fashion shit posting. When I say shitposting, I mean fangirl shipping! YAY! It’s Tumblr 2010 all over again!!

As I’m sure most people know by now, Evangelion is a series that has my lifelong commitment. For brevity, this list will be kept to the original 1995 show with only one pair referencing the Rebuild variations of Hideki Anno’s characters. So, please sit back, grab a glass of (INSERT PREFERED BEVERAGE HERE) and judge me for my ship choices.

ASUSHIN (Asuka x Shinji)

There’s a lot to unpack with this shipping dynamic. While I could write an essay on these two, I’ll spare you with a paragraph. For fans who’ve seen the series, it’s a “love them or hate them” attitude. Shinji and Asuka are canonical at least in my opinion. Asuka and Shinji are two traumatized 14-year-olds that have deep-rooted insecurities and lack the proper communication needed for balance. There’s no way two tweens used as weapons in a supernatural war of humanity and Angels would know how to work through their trauma healthily, let alone save each other. In a perfect Tokyo 3, maybe these kids would have realized they connect far better than anyone else in the series. I’m hopeful that their relationship could become what they wanted despite the bleak future of the series ending(s)—my poor, sweet babies.  

KAWOSHIN (Kaworu x Shinji)

Ah, the most popular ship by far in the Evangelion universe. I don’t blame any of the fangirls and boys out there for this one; I like it too. Kaworu is an angelic being. His unconditional love and concern for Shinji coupled with Shinji’s desperation for these things make the two of them together quite fluffy. Shinji’s blushy nature and uncertainty about the validity of Kaworu’s love make for a lot of great fanfiction. As much as I adore them as a ship, I’m inclined to believe that Kaworu, as an angelic, does not actually harbor romantic feelings for Shinji. Still, they have something much deeper than any of us has or will ever experience. I believe a love like that could manifest in any way, shape, or form that the receiver desires.

ASUMARI (Asuka x Mari)

This is the ship that deviates from the original show. The Asuka from Rebuilds is different from OG Asuka, and Mari doesn’t even exist in the original universe. While Asuka maintains her tsundere personality, her relationship deviates from Shinji at least up until 3.0. Shinji seems to be in love with Rei a ship I do not entertain. ANYWAYS, Asuka is more aggressive. Her confidence, while brittle, doesn’t have much of a chance to be explored. Mari, on the other hand, is a complete mystery. Since I won’t get to watch the final film anytime soon, the most I know about Mari is that she’s a total psycho (in a lovable way). Her weird allegiance to Asuka syncs well. She’s just the type of hardcore, LCL sniffing weirdo to take Asuka’s abuse and like it. Plus, I mean, they are super cute, no? YES.

MISAJI (Misato x Kaji)

This one is DUH. The only adult relationship in here, swear to god. Kaji seems like a womanizer…. possible man hoe too, but they are sweet together. Misato can’t deny that ponytailed bitch, and neither can I.